Этот мыслеобраз меня достал, пусть теперь вас тоже достает))). Я знаю, что никто не будет читать

Madding time

Пейринг: Bill & Leonard, неудавшаяся попытка слэша))
Рейтинг: PG-13. (Bill wished NC-17)
От автора: Я предполагаю, что съемочный процесс происходит совсем не так, как я его описываю. Но по сравнению с попыткой сослэшить Билла и Леонарда - это ничто, правда?)))


They still couldn’t get that damn fighting scene right.
“Cut!”
Bill wiped his face with his sleeve, and immediately Freddy came running to him and cursing. “Damn, Bill! Why do you always need to ruin your make-up?”
“Sorry, Fred”. After a dozen of doubles Bill panted. The make-up man once again returned him the capitainly sexy look, and also adjusted Leonard’s hair which got a little messed up during the combat.
“Let’s go, guys!” Joe, the director, shouted impatiently. “We already are behind the schedule!”
Bill took a deep breath, and went to his position with the “ahn-woon” in his hand. The Vulcan deadly weapon “ahn-woon” was actually a leather stripe, and it gave Bill dirty thoughts about the whole fighting scene. Did Leonard realize what they were shooting? Rolling around the set like this with leather toy belts in their hands, panting and choking each other and breathing hard, while Spock supposedly had his mating time.
читать дальше“Ready?”
Leonard went into his plak-tow, kind of a Vulcan trance, and turned into Spock. Leonard was a great actor, and Bill actually felt how the energy emanating from him suddenly changed. It was almost scary. Leonard was gone; Spock was there pulsating with his ancient drive, his need, his lust.
Bill – Kirk – turned the ahn-woon in his hands, trying to figure out how it worked. In that instant his ankles were caught into the leathern loop, and he fell to the ground. He pulled on the other end of the belt, and threw Leonard to the wall. He jumped to his feet and threw Bill back to the ground rolling on top of him. Bill felt his weight on his hips and belly for a short moment, then he won over. Now Kirk was on top of Spock. He sat up and did as if he hit Leonard a couple of times.
“Cut!” Joe gave them thumbs up. “That was good”.
Bill still sat on Leonard’s legs catching his breath. Leonard also looked exhausted. He patted Bill on the knee. “For how long are you planning to sit here?”
When Leonard spoke this way, he was hysterical, Bill thought. It popped into his mind how adorable Lenny sometimes was.
“Till I choke you to death, you horny little Vulcan”, he giggled and closed his hands around Leonard’s neck. “How – dare you – wanna do – that girl – and kill – your captain!” he exclaimed and with every bit gave Leonard a little shake.
“Stop it!” Leonard wheezed out. “Bill!”
“Bill, let go!” Joe came to rescue. “Now, we’ll do the close-up”.
Unwillingly Bill freed his friend. Action! – and they rolled over again on the ground. An unnecessary thought swayed Bill’s mind: strangling can be a sort of kinky foreplay. Leonard made a move beneath him, trying to free himself from Kirk’s grip. Leonard could be pretty strong, Bill thought, and that – or another move from Leonard sent a sudden tension to his body.
Cut!
Bill sat back on his heels, and so did Leonard.
“What d’you think, Vulcans have violent sex in ponfarr?”
“Why?” Leonard arched Spock’s eyebrow. “How do you always come to ask such things?”
Bill smirked. “Looking at their foreplay, they have a thingy for violence games”.
Leonard shook his head on Bill, but a little smile showed up on his lips.
“What?” Bill shouted out, acting insulted. “It’s not me who wrote this sсript!”
“You just play it”, Leonard said, but his tone was amused.
“Okay, but you promise to explain it to me later”, Bill cocked his head to the side and looked at him with puppy eyes.
“Fine”, Leonard said.
“Guys, one more double, then we break for lunch”, Joe said.
Freddy renewed their make-up, so they looked worn-out-by-combat-but-still-gorgeous.
“Oh do it, Spock!” Bill said pompous. He felt strange, and made jokes to release his tension. It was the atmosphere of this whole episode: it seemed to Bill that they were only speaking about sex. Vulcan sex. Mad deadly Vulcan sex with Spock. And lately Bill’s relationship with his wife went downhill, so the topic became kind of painful. He was a man, and he wasn’t wooden! Well, maybe some parts of his body were.
He almost missed when Joe commanded “Action!” A roll-over. Bill found himself on top of Leonard, and suddenly time seemed to stretch into eternity. Bill went deaf – he didn’t hear a sound from the set, not even from Leonard, not even from himself. He stared at Leonard’s face and thought how ugly it was. What a weird fantasy to wanna touch it and look how small wrinkles appeared around his eyes when he frowned and smiled at the same time and turned away. This all passed between his two heartbeats. Boom – Bill snapped out of his gaze – and hit Spock as he was supposed to. Cut!
“Great job!” Joe said. “Break. Have a nice meal, everyone”.
Bill quickly slid to the side and sat into the sand which covered the set floor. Leonard got to his feet.
“Let’s go, Bill. You’ll be late for lunch”, he pointed out.
“No way!” Bill started to get up – but realized that for nothing in the world he would get to his feet right now. He sank back to the ground and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Uh… y’know, I’ll catch up with you later”.
“Are you alright?” Leonard asked concerned. He chose a bad time to play a careful mommy. To make the situation even worse, DeForest came up to them.
“Bill, you look – “, he concluded after quickly glancing him over. “ – strange”.
Bill smiled reassuringly. “Everything’s alright! I just had a little fight with our old mad Vulcan, you know. I’ll join you in a minute”.
Leonard and De exchanged looks, Len frowned.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes”, Bill grinned even wider, and pulled his legs closer together. Leonard seemed to have noticed this movement.
“Let’s go, De. He is okay”, he said, sparing Bill the embarrassment. They took off, and Bill sighed out in relief.

Bill joined Leonard and De at their table at lunch. He was inwardly cursing about tight uniform trousers. That was not the first time when they caused him trouble. It looked as if they were designed purposely to demonstrate the manliness of the captain. It’s a shame, that Leonard never had this kind of problem – not that Bill paid too much attention, of course.
“You alright?” De asked once again. He was always protective about Bill, as if he was his little brother. Bill nodded; he couldn’t speak because he already had a mouthful of salad.
“Have you managed to do the Vulcan salute?” Leonard sneered after a while. That has been their continuing joke for the last week.
“Show me again”, Bill said. Leonard did. Bill tried to part the fingers in the same manner on his left hand, but failed. They either stayed together or parted altogether. “De?” he turned to his other friend desperately.
“What? I can do that!” De demonstrated a perfect Vulcan greeting.
“No-o!” Bill moaned. “Am I the only one who can’t?”
“Look”, Leonard took his hand, and Bill stopped chewing. Leonard parted Bill’s fingers and held them that way. His hand was dry and hot, and felt good against Bill’s wet palm. Only a few moments later he remembered how to chew. He swallowed down a piece of meat.
“See?” Leonard asked and let go of his fingers. Bill pulled his hand away and shook it. The warmth lowered from his lungs to his groin.
‘Oh crap’, he thought. How bad was now the situation with his wife that he started to get that horny at Leonard? Damn Ted Sturgeon with his damn story about his damn horny Vulcans!
“I think I can’t do that”, he said to Leonard.
“You need to try harder. It takes years of diligent practice and self-denial”.
Both Leonard and De laughed, and Bill joined them lightheartedly. No problem, he just must not think about –
“By the way, what did you want to know about Vulcan sexual habits?” Leonard asked innocently.
‘You don’t need to ask, it’ll come to you’, Bill thought in despair. But he grinned and said, “What do they do between that ponfarrs? I mean, it’s seven years!”
“Well, they study, do science and go into space. They are a highly intelligent species”. It sounded like mockery. “How long can you go without it?” Now it definitely was mockery.
“For sure, I don’t want to find out”, he said passionately.
De and Leonard rolled from laughter – mostly because of the way Bill said it.
“But of course for a man with a certain, uh, spiritual level, it mustn’t be that difficult”, De said.
“You just need to read more Spinoza. Schopenhauer also will do”, Leonard added. That man really needed a good punch.
“Okay, you read Spinoza; I better find a hot chick”.
“Yeah”, Leonard said, amused. “But what would you do, if there were no ‘chick’?”
Bill shifted in his seat. This conversation really got to his weak point, if you know what I mean.
“I dunno”, he said. “Maybe find some pointy-eared guy and fight him till I get a relief?”
Leonard snorted, and De turned his gaze from one to another. Leonard soon regained control and said earnestly, and in a voice similar to Spock’s, “It works only for Vulcans. I still recommend Spinoza to humans”.
“Thank you very much”, Bill answered with feeling. “I’ve regarded you as friend, Mr. Nimoy, now I know I’ve been wrong”.
He grabbed his tray and pretended he wanted to leave. Leonard caught his arm across the table.
“Bill, I truly feel for you”, he said with a look of sincerity in his eyes. “I understand how badly family problems must affect you. Consider this: you should find a hobby. I mean besides horses and dogs”.
Leonard said it without a tiniest smile. Bill felt a great urge to punch him in the face or laugh.
“Now I AM offended”, he said. He tried to keep a sulky face, but failed, as Leonard asked “Really?”
De covered his mouth with his hand and started laughing.
“You asked for an advice”, Leonard said. “I gave you my best”.
“I asked? When?! We were talking about Vulcans!” Bill protested. “And what they do between the ponfarrs!”
Leonard raised his finger. “That’s why Vulcans are such an efficient community. They don’t waste time on unnecessary activities. You must take an example from them”.
“It must be easy for you, but it’s difficult for me!” Bill exclaimed. “No one wants you, and everyone wants me! Just look at me!” Bill swung his hands. “I’m perfect!”
“Oh yes, you’re irresistible”, Leonard nodded.
“By the way, you perfect man”, De said. “The costume guys will kill you. You have sauce on your shirt”, he handed Bill a napkin.
“Damn”, Bill took it and rubbed on his neatly ripped shirt. He bowed his head and pulled at the shirt to better see the stains. “Let’s pretend it’s captain’s blood”.
“White?” Leonard asked with a smile.
Bill pointed a finger at him. “Don’t force me to make a lame joke about white stains and ponfarr”.
“You said it”.
“Yeah, I said it”, Bill grimaced. “When you talk, I’m always the bad guy”.
“You are”, Leonard nodded and raised his eyebrows innocently.
Even when he was mean, the man was adorable, Bill thought, and couldn’t be angry with him for a minute.